Changing My Pants

“What’s the one piece of advice you wish someone had given you a year (or five, or ten…) ago?”

When I think about one piece of advice that I wish someone would have given me five years ago, I have a difficult time just picking one, because I have about three huge ones screaming in my mind right now, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS?!”

But I will pick one to share: it would be “do not get set on one plan of what you think your life will look like, have room for change, and be ready for change, because you will change…”

I just thought I had it all figured out, ya know? Graduated High School, spent two years volunteering in another country, travelling, meeting great friends and learning new things about myself and the world, and by that time I was pretty sure pursing a psychology degree was the next step to take, and it would all be peachy from there. Naively, at first I thought I would get a Psychology degree, then somehow write books about something to do with teenagers struggling with suicide, and travel around talking about, and film a documentary. That was my plan.

But it hasn’t worked out that way.
And I think the hardest thing of it not working out like that, is that I wrestled with the failure of it. I thought I knew when it would happen, I thought I knew how it would work out , and I thought it was exactly what I had wanted.

Because I had such high expectations, I did not give myself much room for change. And when I started changing, it was a battle, because it was not the way it was supposed to be, it threw me off, it threw the plan off.

New ideas challenged my old ones. New dreams threatened my current ones. Reality pressed for room in my dreaming mind. I thought more. I listened more. I learned more. I felt more.

The difficult thing, at first, is that I compared myself so much to her- the old me. I wanted to be her again, all care free, and wild, and limitless. There will always be remains of her, but I know I am not her anymore.

I changed my pants. And as much fun I was having in the old ones, all comfortable, hole-y, and familiar; I started to outgrow them, I needed new ones.

We all change, don’t we.
We all know that other people change, we all talk about how ‘they’ are different, but we never really think about how much we will change, and how much we already have.

Think about it, have you had a big “change your pants” kind of moment recently? Without even recognizing it? Maybe you are in the midst of changing your pants right now.
Maybe tomorrow you are going to change your pants.
Maybe it is time for you to change you pants.

Adolescence to adulthood; When I was 18, I was one kind of girl, when I was 20 I was morphing into someone else, now a couple years later, I am a different. Line up the 18 year old with me now-
she was a girl, I am a woman.

I wish someone would have told me how difficult being an adult can be, and not just the money stuff, I wish someone would have told me that I am going to change my mind thirty five times and that it is OKAY. I wish someone would have told me that by the end of my university degree, I may be a totally different woman, I may want something different, I may not fit into the life I had planned for myself.

But I am still trying to figure this out- who I am, and what the heck I am doing. I never knew how much I could change. I am okay with it now, I have adjusted to it, I am still trying to get used to these pants.
I may exchange them in a couple weeks.

If I have to tell you, if I have to admit one piece of advice that I wish I heard: I wish someone would have told me about change.

 

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2 comments

  1. Change sucks. But it is OH so necessary. Pants….I change my whole shaggin outfit some days! But you’re right….it’s so needed in order to grow into the person God intends you to be. So encouraging to remember that it’s okay to be me, whatever pants I’m currently wearing. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  2. Yes, you are right about change…we all do it and sometimes we have no other choice. Change can be a good thing. It will certainly give you experience in a variety of things, and make you wiser and stronger. The important thing is How you react to the change.

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